What the Master Batters are sure about is the huge gaping hole suddenly in left field. The second inning of Sunday nights game proved the similarities between Justin Smith and an abused but adorable puppy. They both seem to cower when objects are suddenly hit in their direction. Smith later went on to use the classic excuse of "the sun got in my eyes." This excuse however only fly's as far as a wingless airplane due to the fact that eye black had been invented in the late 1940's and clinically
proven effective in 2003 by Brian DeBroff. Although the studies did show that eye black is less effective in blue eyed individuals, this is no excuse why Smith was not wearing it. Doesn't Smith realize that eye black is worn by all time greats such as Ryne Sandburg, Lance Johnson, Drew Bledsoe, Tom Brady, Alex Rodriguez and Chipper Jones? What did you say...eye black is gay? I don't know about anyone else but I have never questioned Ryne Sandburgs sexual preference. Not only did later findings in DeBroff's study prove that eye black is in fact heterosexual but it also concluded that Justin Smith did strike out for the first time in the 5th inning of last nights game.The "oh-fer" sisters did come out and play last night as Sarah Brown and Kristina Carpenter-Kuntz combined for an 0h-fer-10 effort. Some spectators thought if it wasn't for Browns pitching and Kristina's ability to run after that one foul ball, the outcome could have been different. Hasselbeck and Cervenka did however pick up the slack. Both players came to the field ready and ended up with key hits that helped the Master Batters move into 1st place.
Memenga showed signs of a Trinidad and Tobago track athlete as he pulled up late in the game with a hamstring injury. If only there was a coach Bud Kilmer on the team that could shoot Memengas hamstring up with Cortisone. Unlike Jonny the "Mox" Moxin" of the West Caanan Coyotes, I know no one on the Master Batters would quit if it meant Memenga would take an injection and keep hitting like he did Sunday night. (works cited: Varsity Blues). Memenga returned to the game only to take a key walk in the top of the 7th. He showed the heart of a 1988 Jamaican Bobsledder walking to first base but suddenly realized no one was on their feet clapping and weeping so he quickly turned back to the dugout.Barnetts 6th inning miscue in center field was later over shadowed by his leaping catch in the
7th inning to save the 5 run lead. Barnett replaced Memenga in center after his sixth inning injury. One fan went on to say, "If there was a wall out there I am sure he would have robbed a homerun." Another fan went on to say, "Barnett must have been wearing eye black out there because we hadn't seen such a great heterosexual catch all day." Barnett showed the Master Batters that not even titanium screws in his hip will come between him and a fly ball. Especially not the sun!Injuries are starting to plague the Master Batters but have not yet sank this tightly ran ship. It looks as if for the third year in a row the Master Batters will cruise through the regular season. Although bold, Smith believes if Barnett and Company keep playing like they have been then nothing will stop them. This could be true, however they can't think too far ahead because they must get past singing sensation/softball team, the Jersey boys first.
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